It was on Boxing Day a few years ago when I received a call from a line manager. I was HR
Manager at the time for a hotel company. The line manager had been contacted by one of
their team who was in a strange city, miles from home, asking them to have them sectioned.
What would you do?
This manager wanted to call the employee’s next of kin, however they had specifically asked
them not to.
What would you do?
I don’t think anything can really prepare you for a call like that. It will always be shocking
and you will always be torn by what to do for the best. Most of us aren’t medical experts,
however we do want to help.
The truth is, there is no definitive correct answer, as everyone is different. However, I can
tell you what I advised, and what happened, in the hope that you may feel a little bit more
comfortable if you ever receive a similar call.
- When is a mental health crisis an emergency?
First things first – if there is a danger to life, it IS a medical emergency.
Encourage the person to either call 999 or get themselves to a hospital. In this instance, the
manager called the employee back and with the help of Google Maps found their way to the
nearest hospital.I would urge against calling an ambulance yourself, unless you are with the person, or you
know exactly where they are. If you can, get them to call themselves.
- What if it’s not an emergency?
Plenty of people will experience mental distress or feelings of despair but it isn’t life
threatening. If you receive a call or are with someone who is going through this, the best
thing you can do is just be there and listen. You do not have to fix their problems for them
(and you probably can’t anyway), but you can just be there for them.– Encourage them to call Samaritans if you can – 116 123. They are open 365 days of
the year – always there to listen.
– Encourage them to speak to a family member, a friend, or someone else they trust.
– Encourage them to seek professional help, perhaps their own GP or NHS 111.
– Try not to talk about your own experiences or situation, or what you would do. Stick
to listening, and making it about them and how they are feeling. In fact, the less you
say, the better.
In this instance, the line manager received a few calls from the employee in distress over the
the course of a few days whilst they were in the hospital, and they just listened.
- Do you call their next of kin?
This is a question I get asked a lot. People are torn between what their gut is telling them
and respecting the wishes of the employee. It is a tough call. I can only tell you what I
would do. If I have ever been worried about the welfare of an employee, I
have always called the next of kin, and it has always been the right thing to do. Don’t forget
that when they provide these details to you at the start of employment, it is for “in the case
of an emergency” and isn’t a mental health crisis an emergency?In this instance, the line manager DID call the next of kin and the family were able to get to
the employee and support them. It was the right thing to do.
4. Look after yourself
Receiving a call from someone in distress can be distressing for you too! Remember to look
after YOU! Find someone trusted to talk to yourself, even if it is just to get the words out.
Practice self care yourself and do something that brings you joy. Remember that you
cannot save people, you can’t fix their problems, but you CAN be there, you CAN listen and
you CAN encourage them to find their own solutions or help. That’s enough.
The small print – I am not a medical professional, however I am a Mental Health First Aider
and trained Samaritans listening volunteer. I am sharing with you the benefit of my own
experiences of helping people in distress and advising others in my HR life who have found
themselves in that situation. I hope this has helped.