The most frequent question I get paid to answer is “I have a team member who is underperforming – what do I do?”
My first instinct is to ask those clients “have you spoken to them about it?” The answer I almost always get?
“No.”
See the problem? Poor performance rarely starts as poor performance. It starts with cancelled one-to-ones, avoided conversations, and managers who think “we work in the same office, so we chat all the time, I don’t need to have 121s.”
Spoiler alert: that doesn’t work.
The hidden cost of avoiding 121s
If you’re not having 121s because you think you don’t need to because you work in an office, or you speak to your team every day, or you think they don’t need one, well, I’m sorry to say it, but you’re wrong.
All too often I see performance-based HR issues arise because feedback is reserved for annual reviews or the end of a probation period.
Here’s why that’s a problem:
- Underperformance goes unchecked because nobody’s having difficult chats
- Employees fear meetings because they only happen when there’s trouble
- Nothing changes because there’s no feedback, and therefore, no structure or follow-up
- Tribunals happen because managers dismiss team members without any documented feedback, evidence of support, or paths to performance improvement
I once had a client hit with a £30,000 tribunal claim because they couldn’t prove they’d tried to support their employee. Why? No proper 121s. No documented feedback. An expensive lesson that they won’t be making again.
Why your 121s aren’t working
If you’re reading this and thinking “well I do offer good 121s, but my team member is still underperforming!” Well, I have some questions for you:
- Are they consistent? If your 121s are ad hoc, moved, cancelled, or cut short, they’re not working.
- Are they reactive? If they’re only booked when bad things happen, it creates fear and anxiety.
- Are they structured? A chat that leads nowhere is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
- Do they include documented follow-up actions? If you’re not keeping notes of the actions, there’s no accountability. As the old HR saying goes, if you didn’t write it down – it didn’t happen!
- Are you avoiding tough conversations? If you’re thinking “well, difficult conversations are difficult!” Think about how difficult it will be when that team member makes a HR complaint, resigns, or worse, takes you for a trip to the tribunal.
Want to avoid problematic performance-based dismissals? Here’s 5 ways to improve your 121s.
5 ways to improve your 121s
1. Make a plan and stick to it
First rule of 121s: treat them like the business-critical meetings they are.
- Block regular slots in the diary (monthly minimum, fortnightly is better)
- Never cancel: Every time you cancel unnecessarily, you’re saying “other stuff matters more than you” and then you wonder why they underperform.
- Create a simple agenda that looks something like this: wellbeing check, workload review, support needed, feedback, recap of the actions in writing
2. Consistency is key
When 121s happen regularly, three magic things occur:
- Fear disappears as your team know that they’re not just for bad news
- Issues stay small because they’re caught early, feedback is constructive, and team members feel supported
- Trust builds because you show up consistently
When I talk about consistency, this is what you should be aiming for:
- Monthly minimum for permanent employees
- Every two weeks during probation
- Weekly for anyone you’re performance managing
3. Keep it human
Here’s a skill I picked up from my Samaritans volunteering days: always check-in with the person before you dive in.
If you’re about to deliver some constructive feedback, it might not land well if that person has arrived to work after their car broke down, just had a fight with their partner, received some bad news – you get the jist.
So my recommendation is to always start with a wellbeing check:
- “How are you? No, really, how ARE you?”
- “You mentioned your mum was sick – how’s she doing?”
- “What’s been the highlight of your week?”
Why this matters: I once watched a manager deliver harsh feedback to someone who had received some bad news over the weekend. The feedback didn’t land, the team member felt their manager didn’t care about them, and they later quit. The whole thing was avoidable.
Top tip: Using open questions will bring the human element to your one-to-ones.
Let me give you an example: “How did that project go last week?” vs. “I need to give you feedback about last week’s project.”
One is more open, the other feels targeted.
Let them tell you what went wrong – most of the time they know already, and it’s less defensive!
4. If it’s not written down, it never happened
I mentioned this golden rule in the HR world earlier, but to be clear, I’m not talking about extensive meeting minutes. Just quick, actionable follow-ups that can be sent in an email or over Slack.
These keep everyone accountable, and more importantly, document what has been discussed.
Example email: “Thanks for the catch-up, Sarah. I’ll get those reports to you by Thursday. You’re tackling X, Y, and Z by next week’s meeting. Drop me a message if you need support.”
Documenting is so important because it:
- Creates accountability (both ways)
- Builds evidence for performance management if needed
- Prevents the “I don’t remember agreeing to that” game
- Shows you’re taking their development seriously
Need extra motivation to make sure you jot down those all important actions?
A client avoided a £20k in tribunal legal fees alone because they had documented 121 notes showing they’d provided support and feedback in writing to an employee struggling to meet performance expectations.
Yes, it’s that easy to end up spending tens of thousands of pounds (when it’s so easily avoided, too)!
5. Master the art of feedback
Most managers are terrible at feedback. It’s not their fault – nobody taught them properly. But “I don’t know” isn’t a defence at a tribunal.
So where could you be going wrong?
- Leading with policy (“You can’t do that because it’s against the rules”)
- Avoiding the hard conversations
- Not explaining the real impact of the unwanted behaviour or action
So what can you do instead?
- Train your managers – this isn’t a nice to have, this is a must if you want to avoid HR maydays
- Get comfortable with giving honest, but fair, feedback – I strongly recommend reading Radical Candor by Kim Scott
- Fine-tune your listening skills – I recommend taking a look at Samaritans listening wheel
- Get familiar with the ACAS guide to discipline and grievances at work which covers the best practices when it comes to performance management
Looking for guided support? I offer bespoke training for managers and masterclasses for business owners where I cover all the essentials, from dismissal strategies, performance management, preventing tribunals, and more.
The bottom line: 121s are your performance management insurance!
Now you know what to do, and more importantly, what not to do, here’s what you need to do next. And by next, I mean right now.
- Book your 121s now (yes, actually open your calendar)
- Create a simple agenda template (or pinch mine)
- Carve out some time (or money) for some proper training and learning
- Document everything
- Actually show up
Performance issues don’t start in performance reviews. They start in missed 121s avoided conversations, and “but we see each other every day” thinking.
If you want help with performance, tricky team members, or refining your processes, book a free HR consultation or check out my training options. Because prevention beats tribunal every single time.